How Do You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love Himself?

There comes a point in your life that you feel doubtful about yourself---doubtful about looking good, succeeding in your career or worse, feeling that  you are not worthy enough to be loved by someone. This may sound ridiculous, but it is not uncommon for these feelings to lurk in your mind. 

Some people may easily bounce back from these negative thoughts and feelings, but unfortunately, not all can do this. Now what do you do if you find yourself in a relationship where your partner is having a hard time loving himself?


Accept the fact that your partner will have a LOT of shortcomings towards you. This should not come as a surprise because how can your partner give the same amount of love you are giving if he cannot even love himself? 

Your partner will have many limitations to the extent that you will question your relationship. Accept all of his flaws but not to a degree that you will become a martyr and lose yourself in the process of your acceptance. Remember, even though your partner doesn’t love himself doesn’t mean that he is not true to his love for you. He is just having a hard time being who he truly is because he lacks, first and foremost,  love for himself. 


Listen to what your partner has to say. When he tries to make a conversation about how he feels, it means that he trusts you with his dark feelings. Do not dismiss his emotions as being shallow because those feelings are his deepest emotions that hinder him to love you the same as you love him. 

Take this opportunity to process his thoughts and find clues on where his emotions are coming from. If he doubts himself of being worthy of your love, ask him why he thinks that is? Keep the ball rolling while being mindful that your partner is sensitive and vulnerable to being defensive may cause a rift in your relationship. 

Be Patient

Your patience will come a long way to keep your relationship healthy. Be the bigger person in your relationship, but do not allow yourself to be demeaned by his unruly behavior. When he suddenly becomes angry at you for no reason, do take a deep breath and remember that he is not angry AT you. 

He is just SO comfortable being with you that he lets his feelings of frustration out without thinking twice. This may become tiring on your part, that is why, in the middle of this all, do not forget to give credit to yourself. Do not lose your love for yourself as when you love yourself, it is easier to take care of the person you love. 


Encourage your partner to meditate. Meditation helps your mind to focus. Help your partner to focus on the positivity and let go of the negativity. Meditation guides you to center yourself and throws off the stress, which will be a big help in facing your daily challenges. Inspire your partner to meditate every day to help him relieve his frustrations and to help him focus on his positive attributes to love himself.

Being the one who loves a person who doesn’t love himself may also take a toll on your sanity. Always remember that your love for yourself is important to be able to bring out the love you deserve from your partner. Do not lose yourself while taking care of other people. Be mindful of your own self so that you will not be weighed down by the anchor of another person.

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