Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. But what does that term mean, exactly? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you’ve found yours?
We’ve all heard the term “soul mate,” but what about “twin flame”? It’s a term that’s floating around online more and more, and while it sounds like it’s interchangeable with “soul mate,” that’s not accurate.
If you compare a twin flame vs. soulmate, it’s important to note that a soul mate is made from the same kind of energy as you, but who has never existed infusion with you. So, although soul mate connections are highly significant, an encounter with a twin flame is entirely different. Usually, this will lead to romance. However, it can also manifest in the form of an intense friendship.
If you have a twin flame, you are fated to meet this person at some point in your life journey. The two of you will be pulled together like magnets! You will know when you’ve connected with this person because you’ll immediately experience a sense of recognition. Many people describe an uncanny feeling of having known their twin flame all their lives. When you encounter the person who carries the other half of your energy, it can create a profound and life-altering sense of wholeness.
WHILE A SOUL MATE HAS STRICTLY ROMANTIC CONNOTATIONS, A TWIN FLAME DOESN’T NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE ROMANTIC.
Yes, romance is preferable when it comes to finding your twin flame. Falling in love with someone who gets you sounds pretty sweet, right? However, romance doesn’t necessarily have to be the be-all and end-all for twin flames, explains Pat58, a relationship expert and psychic adviser. Think of a soul mate as someone who would fight to the death for you. A twin flame is more connected with the person who’s mostly built on commonalities from your past.
A TWIN FLAME’S PURPOSE IS TO HELP YOU TEACH EACH OTHER AND GROW.
“In spiritual teaching, twin flames are two halves of one soul that have united to teach each other profound lessons,” explains Cara Kovacs, NYC-based relationship expert.
A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP MIGHT BE VERY ON AND OFF…
Twin flame relationships do not necessarily last a lifetime, explains Channa Bromley, relationship and dating coach. “Once the lessons have been learned, we may or may not stay in the relationship. We do become whole because of the growth and healing that the twin flame relationship provides.”
…AND THE RELATIONSHIP MIGHT BE SUPER TENSE AND EMOTIONAL.
Whereas soul mates ~complete each other~, twin flames are more about pushing each other to grow, adds Kovacs. It tracks with the idea that with any growth, there’s a certain degree of tension to be expected. Ultimately, though, through any conflict, twin flame relationships are there to help each person heal.
YOU’LL FEEL LIKE YOU’VE KNOWN THIS PERSON YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
“They feel familiar in a way that you can’t quite explain, but you feel instantly very comfortable with them,” says Kovacs. As you get to know each other, you might come across details in your upbringing that you have in common, such as both being adopted, or you might have even been at a lot of the same events at the same time without ever meeting. Kovacs adds that the feeling of meeting your twin flame can be described as intense and familiar at the same time.
YOUR TWIN FLAME WILL FEEL LIKE “HOME” FOR YOU.
Your twin flame will completely get and accept you. You’ll often share similar interests, thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses, says Paulette Sherman, Ph.D., a psychologist and dating expert.
YOU’LL ACT AS MIRRORS FOR EACH OTHER.
All this similarity is so you and your twin flame will eventually reflect each other in a way that heals deeply held wounds from childhood or even past lives, according to Kovacs. This mirrorlike quality is also responsible for some of the drama you will likely encounter with your twin flame. “Everything that we have spent our lives running from or denying is suddenly in front of us,” says Pat.
NOT EVERYONE FINDS THEIR TWIN FLAME, BUT IF YOU DO, IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A LIFE-CHANGING KIND OF LOVE.
Yep, not everyone gets reunited with their twin flame through their life, according to Pat. However, she adds that if you are reunited, the relationship can be “once-in-a-lifetime-ain’t-nothing-ever-gonna-be-the-same love.” No pressure!
Meeting a twin flame is a unique, life-altering moment! However, it’s only the beginning of what is in store for both of you. Encountering one another kick-starts a dynamic new part of your life, facilitating growth, inspiring change, and challenging you to accept yourself fully. Think of meeting your twin flame as the first step on a journey.
We’ll explore each of the twin flame stages in turn, and look at the connection between twin flame symptoms and each of these crucial stages. Some are primarily associated with beautiful experiences, while others can be emotionally arduous, but all of them are necessary parts of encountering the other half of yourself. There are seven significant twin flame steps to the process. Nonetheless, be aware that you may go through them at a slow or faster rate than other people.
Stage 1. The Search
The search stage involves a strong sense of yearning and an acute awareness that something is lacking. Even if you’ve never really thought about soul mates and twin flames before, this is the stage at which you begin to believe that there is a perfect match out there for you. In all likelihood, you’ll doubt this feeling at first; you may feel unsure about what you should do with it, but at the deepest level, you will find it impossible to shake the conviction that you will meet “the one.”
The search stage is also partly about preparing your life for the incoming arrival of your twin flame, even though you may not know why you are doing this. For example, you may start a journal, engage in therapy, or find closure after past relationships. On an unconscious level, you know that all of these things are necessary if you are to welcome your twin flame.
Stage 2. The Awakening
As noted above in the discussion of soulmate signs, you tend just to know when you’ve encountered your twin flame. This second, awakening stage is where you physically meet, and the awareness of your compatibility hits you head-on. It will often be a chance encounter full of coincidences and little signs that your meeting was destined to occur.
Sometimes, you won’t be together for very long, but even brief contact is enough to make you aware that something special is happening. It’s also worth noting that the awakening can take place in a dream, meaning that you “meet” your twin flame in the dreamscape before you ever cross paths in real life. Regardless of how you meet, you will be shaken by the intensity of the bond you feel. You may feel intoxicated and find that thoughts of this person occupy all of your waking moments.
Stage 3. The Test
The test stage of a twin flame experience is defined by trying to understand your relationship with this other person. It is all about establishing boundaries, testing your limitations, and moving past the purely blissful experience of initially falling in love.
This stage will only occur once you’ve had enough time to enjoy a “honeymoon” phase. Plus, this stage is crucial if you are going to have a more meaningful, long-term relationship. For example, it is at this point that you will negotiate what your future will look like and notice what may constitute obstacles to that future.
Although you are destined to know and love each other, you will still engage in conflicts (in the same way that you participated in a battle with other parts of yourself). Whether and how you resolve these conflicts will define whether you’ll be able to stay together.
Stage 4. The Crisis
While twin flame love can be euphoric, it also inevitably involves a crisis stage. While this is often unpleasant, the good news is that it can also catalyze a deeper, more stable bond in the longer term. This stage involves significant anxiety and worries about your relationship with your twin flame, and the crisis can be just about anything. It may be related to grief, betrayal, struggles with self-love, or any other things that put pressure on your connection with your twin flame.
Despite the supernatural compatibility of twin flames, this is often a point where the two people decide to separate (a process that is extra painful given that it involves giving up a part of yourself). However, if you can get through the next few stages, you will emerge more reliable than ever.
Stage 5. The Running Or Chasing Stage
No matter what form the crisis stage takes, it is always followed by a running or chasing stage. You may be in either role, and you and your twin flame may switch back and forward between the two characters. This stage revolves around one twin flame distancing themselves, often out of fear of confronting the level of intimacy that the two of you are capable of experiencing. The twin in this role will be in pain and will feel very defensive and resistant. Meanwhile, the other twin flame will give chase, believing that the bond is worth fighting for and working.
This stage can only end when the running twin stops trying to get away, and the chasing twin stops trying to push. Often, the end of this stage is characterized by twin flames realizing that there are forces at work beyond their control.
Stage 6. The Surrender
In the surrender stage, both of you will start to give up on a previous need to control your relationship. In this context, surrendering isn’t about giving up on your connection, but rather about accepting that neither of you can escape from destiny. It can be a positive realization that releases you both from past anxieties and allows you to better live in the moment, trusting that the universe will lead you to where you need to go.
Do note that it’s only possible to progress through the surrender stage if both of you work on the issues that led to the crisis and the running/chasing stages. For many people, the core issue here relates to the fact that twin flames are mirrors. Often, the things you will need to work through are the negative feelings you have about yourself, which are reflected to you in the eyes of your twin.
Stage 7. The Reunion and Joining
When you and your twin flame move on to the reunion stage, you’ll have a sense of relief because balance is being restored.
In going through the previous, challenging stages, you’ll have learned a lot about yourselves and about the potential attached to the unique kind of love you have found.
For some twin flames, this reunion will be physical. For example, the two may finally come back to the same place, agreeing to share a home, or finally physically consummating your bond.
Irrespective of the particular form the reunion takes, it carries a sense of peace, acceptance, and mutual understanding.
If you weather the more tumultuous parts of your journey, twin flame energy inevitably leads both parties to this joining stage. After the reunion, the hard work is over; all you need to do now is live, enjoying the sense of completeness that can only be found in each other’s companionship.
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